Tuesday 14 June 2011

Waiting, waiting, waiting

So, a couple of weeks ago I got a call from my Doctor asking me if it was ok for her to refer me to a gender clinic in Norwich. She was worried that it would inconvenient for me to go there as I had request to go to Cambridge (Cambridge doesn't have a gender clinic which is crazy... It's Cambridge ffs) I had no issues with this.

I did ask her to repeat herself. I asked her to whom she was referring me to. She said a gender specialist in Norwich GIC. I was shocked and happy. I was expecting to have to go to a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, priest, tescos manager, tea lady, bus driver.. Basically everyone and everything until people finally decided I was worthy to see a specialist. I told her this, she said she felt there was no need for that... She felt happy referring me strait away. Yay for me, I guess, now I just have to hope they do actually decide they want to see me, or don't throw me away after the first session or something.

God knows how long I have to even wait for confirmation of my referral.

I'm not complaining though, I am so happy I was able to get to see such a great doctor who was so understanding. I guess she might have felt that if I was brave enough to sit in that busy waiting room wearing women's jeans and a pink top in our little village then I knew what I wanted.

Thing is... I still don't know what I want, I was bracing up for the battle with the gate keepers to strengthen my resolve. I would become an expert in my arguments about why I was trans and how I wasn't trans for a whole host of reasons. I was going to fight down every single petty remark and bullshit theory just to be myself. I was going to fight and become a trans-warrior, like so many others I know who have to struggle to even get on path.

But who am I to complain, I just hope I don't get it too easy to forget how others struggle. I hope I don't go in too weak and ruin my chances on the first go. I hope they are forgiving for when I do ruin my chances on the first go (I will, I know I will).

So anyone have any experience with Norwich gender clinic?

3 comments:

  1. The only person who needs to be sure is you. Five years from now, will you regret not doing this when you had the chance? Do you know this will happen eventually, making now the best time? As long as you are secure in your decision, and are able to face the consequences, you can't ruin your chances, really. THEY may have firm biases that affect you, but you can't control them even by being perfect. So just be honest.

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  2. Heya, you are correct. but fear is fear, I'm sure it'll turn out ok and as it needs to though :)

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  3. I guess that the important thing is that you are thinking about what you want and where you are going. The process of your referral may possibly help. It is a journey and your way will be your own, not anybody else's :)

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