Things got better

Ok, so after my little rant yesterday I felt a lot better and put it into perspective. Also, Reddit helped. Reddit always helps. And I realised that it was now kind of official. I imagine it was maybe on my medical record. I didnt think to check. But hell if I can summon up the courage to tell a doctor then I can be brave enough to just be myself.

So when my girlfriend got home and we chatted and I vented she took me upstairs and told me that she was suddenly very Ok with the whole thing. There are some issues that we will need to deal with in the future but she has decided to deal with them when we need to. She said she wouldn't even mind the hormones so much, and would still be proud to hold my hand in the street. This made me very happy.

Then after this chat she dug out some jeans she had when she was a little bigger (size 12) and gave them to me. I have a horrible personal image problem and I never expected to be able to fit into a size 12, but I did with plenty of room to spare. She also convinced me to go out and about in them. They weren't glaringly obvious that they were womens jeans but it wouldn't take much to see that they were. But no one cared. And that is what I need to remember. That generally no one will care.

So yea, not the most well written blog ever, but that's a short tale on how my birthday improved massively. Also, I figured out how to change my name so that it is slightly more feminine but pretty much the same. I am also less scared by the idea of occasionally presenting myself as a woman. So woo.

Ok, So that happened

If what I was expecting to happen when I went to the doctors was like a rage comic. It would have looked like  this! But I don't really have the time to make a rage comic about how it actually went.
The doctor was a new doctor, she has only just finished whatever training she needed to become a GP. She was also Eastern European if we're honest she probably didn't really get much about the plight of the TG in her home media services. Not that we do get much here in the UK, but people here have generally heard of TGs.
She wasn't even sure what gender identity disorder was, and asked me to repeat it and clarify it. I was also prepared to answer any questions that may have been asked about my life so far and maybe gave away more than I needed to.

But she finally understood that I am of the mindset where I wish i had been born a girl and that I had only recently discovered that this made me a bit odd from the normal. (I really did think that every boy wished they were a girl, only really recently did I realise otherwise.)

So she said she didn't know what to do. I said that ideally I would be referred to a psychiatrist she said she didn't know how to do that.  I was fine with this as I we are all new at things sometimes and can't be expected to know everything. It is odd knowing more than your doctor about medical issues though I must add.

So she asked if I would mind if she went to go and ask for advice from one of the senior doctors. I said I was ok with this and she did.
She was gone for a short while and when she came back she told me that THE SENIOR DOCTOR DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I mean what the fuck! He said that it was such an unusual case that they should write off to the local NHS psychiatrist to find out what to do next. I was dumbstruck. She said this will take a month. I gave her my mobile number to ring me when she finds out more.

I guess I just wait now. Wait a month to find out if I am referred. Fucking brilliant. I hate living in this hicksville backwater shitty little fucking Norfolk village.